1 Month To Go- Will I Ever Be Ready?

I've decided that I will probably never be ready for this marathon.  I had my so called long run today and ended up running 11 miles.  I could have run more, but I don't want to risk anymore injuries or knee issues.  I actually felt pretty decent on the run.  Tired and sore, definitely, but no major aches or pains.

My knee did start to hurt around mile 10, but then calmed down a short time later.  It's kind of like I hit my wall and my knee hits its own wall and it's all about over coming both of them.  I did push through some of the tiredness, but I couldn't beat it all...

I kept repeating this mantra in my head towards the end of my run and I'm sure it's going to become my anthem during the marathon.  It's going to be part of my mental plan to keep me going.  That whole 80% mental 20% physical saying... it's completely and utterly true.

The closer this marathon gets, the more and more nervous I get.  I do have a few friends running the race as well and one is having even worse knee problems and than me.  I figure that at the least, we'll pull each other across the finish line if it comes to it.

I was thinking for a little bit today while I was icing my knees and I realized... this is pretty similar to how I felt right before my first half marathon.  I was just as nervous, just as worried... Now about 2.5 years later, I love half's and while they will always be a challenge, I'm totally and utterly addicted.  Maybe that will happen with this marathon?  One can always think positive...

It's Going To Be A Lazy Day...

It definitely didn't start as a lazy day, but the rest of it will be.  It's kind of sad I'm saying that and it's not even 10 AM yet!

I was able to get up and get out for a run just as the sun was coming up.  Florida's been pretty cool the last few days and I was completely ready to take advantage of it.  I got up without a goal in mind, tied my shoes, decided on the general route I wanted to take, and started to run.  I was out there for 1 hour 10 minutes and was able to run just over 7 miles.  My pace is definitely coming back, which I'm excited about, and when I do walk, I'm walking sub 16 minute miles.

I found myself getting into my running the farther I went.  My miles 3.5-6.5 were the best.  I just felt good and walked some, but not too much.  Eventually my calves started to get tighter and tighter.  They didn't stop me from running, but I didn't want to push them too far so I ended at 7 miles.

Here's the funniest thing though, my ankles actually hurt more when I'm walking normally than when I run.  Isn't that crazy? Running actually makes me feel better!

So now that my run is over, it's time for me to relax and enjoy my TWO days off!  Yes, that's right, after working 6-7 days a week for the last month and a half, I finally get two full days off!  I plan on taking advantage of them as well, and by that I mean relaxing and not worrying about anything...

I Tried

These last two weeks have been a nightmare when it comes to my energy levels and workouts.  Well, that's not right, my workouts have been non-existent.  They were unfortunately put on hold during my 14 day work week (tomorrow is day 14 out of 14).  The middle seven days added up to 60 hours and this week is looking at about 53 hours.

However, I did get out and got a run in yesterday.  It was only about 2.5 miles or so, but it was something.  Let me tell you, I felt like complete and utter crap.  I was so tired, it has been warming up, and things just weren't adding up.  I don't know why, but I ended up having a very slight nose bleed at the end of it.  It was just not a very good run period.

But hey, I still got out there, I still ran. I was proud of myself that I kept my word to myself and was able to run.  That does make it a somewhat good run, right?

Surprising Myself

I have always been an advocate of running in the mornings.  I've never really liked running or even working out in the evenings just because I'm so tired from the rest of my day that I usually just pass out.

Today, I don't know... it was just different.  I got home and got my running clothes together before taking off on a run.  I set my Nike+ App to 2.5 miles because I knew that was the least that I needed to do for this run.  Well, I ended up getting 3.1 in.

I surprised myself on two fronts today.  The first being that I actually ran this afternoon and that I ran farther than expected.  I am definitely proud of myself.  Personally, this has been a great week.  My weight has been dropping pretty steadily and I've just felt good.

Considering today was the day 2 out of 13 days straight of work... I might not be singing the same tune next week.  We'll see though.  Maybe I'll continue to surprise myself.

The only surprise I wasn't happy with was the battalion of fire ants that showed up in my house this evening.  I have won the war... or at least the battle thus far.

Overcoming Self Sabotage

So I've been open about the fact that a part of my inspiration to complete these running events comes from me wanting to lose weight and get healthy.  However, the biggest obstacle to reach these goals is myself.

While working out I realized how often I am arguing with myself over what I should be doing or what I should be eating.  This morning I decided to do Jillian Michael's Boost Metabolism, Banish Fat video.  It is one of my favorites because of all of the kickboxing moves.  However, it's not like this workout is easy...

During the workout I was constantly telling myself I would finish the workout and I would not give up.  It was hard because I haven't done a workout that hard in a while and I will admit that I did want to stop halfway through and about 2/3 of the way through, but I continued to push.  It was hard, but it did feel good at the end.

But if I think about it, I even try and tell myself to end runs early.  It really does take a certain mental toughness to get through a long run.

My self-sabotaging does not end when it comes to working out.  No, it comes to eating.  I don't know about you guys, but I do spend a good part of the day constantly going back and forth and debating what I want to eat and what I should eat.  Sometimes I stay strong and eat what I should, and other days I just let myself get what's easy (which usually isn't great for me).

Another issue with my diet is snacking.  I'll have a handful here and a handful there, but those handfuls eventually do add up.

Today has so far been a good day for me fighting back and not letting myself fall to the temptation of different foods and ending my workout early.  My goal: continue this determination and willpower for who knows how long.  For now, I leave you with this picture and idea: