Staying Positive

This morning was nice, warmer than I expected, but nice.  I set out on a run that I hoped would be about 4 or 5 miles.  I really needed to start getting my outdoor runs back up to a decent mile.  I got out on the first mile... felt fine.  Then about 1.6 miles in, I started falling apart.

For the first time in a long time I found myself suffering from a side cramp.  It didn't last long, but was replaced the fatigue feelings and an uneasy stomach.  The funny part was the fatigue wasn't in my legs, it was in the rest of my body.  So overall, I just didn't feel good.  My legs felt fine and like the could run, but with the rest of my body effectively trying to shut down, I knew my goal of at least 4 miles wasn't happening.  I still need to go to work today so I couldn't completely kill myself.

I'm 2.5 months out from running Lumiere's challenge.  While I feel ok about the 10k, I'm nervous about the half marathon, especially since it's right after the 10k.  I have a recovery plan and know how I plan to run the 10k to be ready for the half, but my mileage and endurance has just never gotten up to where I wanted it to be for the race.  The mornings are starting to get nicer so I'm hoping that I will be able to build up my longer runs again, even though it feels like I'm doing so from scratch.

It's in these times that I have to think about why I'm doing all this.  There are a few main reasons... the money I've invested into running the races, the time I've invested in training runs, and the support I've gained from friends and families.  They all know and somewhat expect me to be able to run these races and here I am questioning myself.  I have to know what they know.  I can do this, I will do this. I will run Lumiere's Challenge and while it is going to hurt, I will finish.  It won't be my best time, but I have never expected it to be.  This is my return to runDisney running... this is just the beginning for another chapter of running.

Currently I'm watching the Olympic marathon and I'm finding myself excited about my race because of this one.  I never expect to be an olympic runner, but I can be my own personal running hero because I have beaten the odds in the past and I plan to do so again, and again, and again.

In the coming weeks, as I prepare for Lumiere's Challenge, I'm going to look at what really motivates me.  I'll write posts on the random to the understandable but each thing gets me moving for one reason or another.  And hopefully, writing about my motivations will help me find my feet and find my endurance again!